Sincerity vs. insincerity in sales

Even though they may not be clearly defined, you likely have some long-term objectives for yourself, your family, your career, your business, etc. (I would be remiss if I did not share the fact they should be defined; however that is a topic for another column.) Recently I heard something that bothers me greatly and has since I heard it.

I was visiting with a potential client and was saddened to learn of a bad experience they had with a consultant who provides services similar to ours. The client hired this individual to do sales training for a group of individuals responsible for business and client development. One of the main lessons this individual taught the audience was that you should always be complimentary of your prospect⁠—even if it is insincere. 

When I heard this, I was shocked, appalled, and even a little speechless. In sales, one of the most important aspects is the bonding and building of rapport you have (or need to have) with your prospects and clients. This is important for three key reasons:

1. People who are like one another tend to like one another. 
2. People who like one another tend to trust one another. 
3. People tend to do business with people they trust. 

In all relationships, business and personal, everyone wants to be heard and understood. 

How in the world could insincerity be part of this equation? Most people sense insincerity, and when they do, it does not build trust! It does not help you bond, and it does not help with the building of rapport. In fact, it does the exact opposite. It causes questions and makes people not want to do business with you. Would you want to do business with someone who you feel is being insincere to you? 

As I am sure you can tell, learning this bothered me greatly. Not only because teaching someone to be insincere is counterproductive to the core fundamentals of building relationships, but also because it paints a terrible image for individuals and organizations that do what we do. The conversation where I learned this, as I shared, was with a potential client. This person could and did need our services. However, because of the bad experience with this other organization, they now have a negative image of what a consultant does. We spent our time together visiting and trying to undo the damage done instead of positively moving them to a better place where their business could grow.

In closing, please do not be insincere—nobody likes it. Others can and will see through it. People buy from people they like, and people like people who are like themselves; Thus, they buy from people who are like them. The key to bonding and building rapport is being like them. If they are insincere with you, do you truly want to do business with them?